Kicking Brexit Whales Down the Beach

Don’t know if you have ever heard this piece of business jargon, but when someone says “It was like Kicking Dead Whales down the beach” they are referring to a task that is deeply unpleasant, seemingly endless, but something that someone just has to do. It was invented by a man who worked at Microsoft under a difficult boss, who made every task incredibly difficult for his team.

It’s like your worst nightmare of a divorce settlement. Difficult and painful enough for the parties involved, but when you add in a mob of shrieking family members on both sides, it becomes intolerable for those at the sharp end.

It came to mind this last week while following the ups and downs of the Brexit negotiations. Although not a natural Tory supporter, I found myself feeling deeply for David Davis, Theresa May, and the vast army of civil servants who have been thrown into this boiling acid cauldron, with people queuing from all sides to stir the pot in the direction of their choice. At the same time Journalists have been handed vast quantities of ammunition to fire at the beleaguered negotiators, who must also suffer from divisions within their own political party—riven with back-room plotting for a post-Brexit, post-Theresa era.

To change the metaphor, it’s like your worst nightmare of a divorce settlement. Difficult and painful enough for the parties involved, but when you add in a mob of shrieking family members on both sides, it becomes intolerable for those at the sharp end.

And worst of all, everyone knows that no-one will be happy with the result. Bremainers, Brexiteers of hard, soft and medium varieties will all eventually have to wrinkle their noses and live what what comes out of the process. But now is the moment to shout for their viewpoint—and so they do. 

Whatever the news about Brexit I have vowed to pray

So I’ve made a private pledge. Whatever the news about Brexit; whatever the latest howling scandalised face on TV is enraged about; whatever the vicious scheming in the political parties; whatever the scorn poured on the Brexit negotiators; whatever the rumours; whatever the criticism about the weakness or failure of the PM; whatever the snorting about incompetence or corruption or double dealing or special interest: I have vowed to pray.

• I have vowed to pray for the negotiators who are trying their best in the worst of circumstances.
• I will pray for our Prime Minister to stand firm in the howling wind of abuse—and not to bend to the will of those who shout loudest or be intimidated by those who shout nastiest.
• I will pray for our civil servants  drafted into new departments, and facing huge challenges and enormous workloads.
• I will pray for people who are working hard and trying their best to get a solution to an immensely complex problem in circumstances where most of us would have thrown in the towel already. And even though I know I will not be happy with the outcome, this is what I will pray.