As a mom to three children, I long for all my children to learn to talk with God easily and freely. In my own personal life, I’ve seen firsthand how prayer is a spiritual discipline that grows when cultivated. While only God can work in a child’s heart to produce true regeneration and authentic love, there are many things we as adults can do to help children grow and develop the habit of taking everything to God in prayer. Here are five ways to help young children learn to pray.
I don’t have a lot of memories as a young child, but I’ll never forget my parents praying with their heads bowed low over the kitchen table, or the innumerable times my parents asked to pray for me as we were processing through decisions as I got older. Their prayer life impacted mine. Whether you’re a parent, pastor, teacher, or mentor to a child, the first place to start is by focusing on your own prayer life. I’ve heard people say, “Well, there’s nothing left to do but pray!” But prayer should be our first move, not our last resort. If you have a healthy prayer life, it will overflow to others around you. As you show children what a life with a regular rhythm of prayer looks like—they’ll notice.
One of my own personal barriers to prayer is feeling as if I’m stuck always praying about the things that are at the forefront of my mind. The same thing happens with children. After praying for the things they can see or remember quickly, they get distracted and “Amen” is rapidly uttered. As adults, we can help children see the vast landscape of prayer. Provide language and ideas for prayer by looking at the ways the heroes of the faith prayed before them. Show them passages like Psalm 23 and Matthew 6:9-13 and Philippians 4:6-7 that they can pray back to God.
"As I’ve helped my children grow in prayer, I’ve been amazed by how beneficial it’s been for my own prayer life too."
Most evenings, right as I’m finishing setting the food on the table, one of my kids will ask, “Can we pray now?” What they really mean is “Can we eat?” but they know in our home, we pray before we begin. While this is a practice we as Christians do because Jesus modeled it in Scripture, it is also a perfect example of “habit stacking,” a behavioural science strategy labeled by S.J. Scott. Essentially it’s linking a habit you’d like to have, with one that you already have. This works for adults, and it works for kids too.
In our home, when we see an emergency vehicle, we pray for the workers and people involved in an accident. When we write a birthday card, we pray for the person we’re sending it to. When we drive to school drop-off, we pray for our day ahead. You can build these simple connections anywhere into the day or week! It doesn’t mean your prayers will be rote, just like it doesn’t mean the food you eat three times a day isn’t nourishing.
Teach kids how to pray with this beautifully illustrated Bible storybook.
As adults, popcorn prayers can feel intimidating—especially if you’re in a room full of new people. But with young children, the “popcorn” game is usually one of excitement and anticipation. Here’s how it works: The first person prays, then says “Popcorn (Person’s name)!” Then that person prays and they get to pick the next person. Around you go until everyone has had a chance to pray. Kids seem to love it and it helps keep their attention as they listen for their name.
In the fall, I put my kids’ class photos in a basket on our table and at dinner we pray for one classmate. My kids love praying for people they recognize and it helps us to remember all the people we’re connected to. But the pictures could be of anyone. We’ve done this with photos of missionaries, politicians, family, our elders, teachers, and more. Plus, it’s a great use for Christmas cards in January!
As I’ve helped my children grow in prayer, I’ve been amazed by how beneficial it’s been for my own prayer life too. Listening to a child’s sweet, earnest prayer is an encouraging reminder that there’s nothing too big or small to talk with God about. What a gift that we—adults and children alike—can talk with God any time, any place, about anything.
Laura Wifler is the co-founder of Risen Motherhood and serves as the executive director and co-host of the podcast. She is the co-author of the bestselling book, Risen Motherhood: Gospel Hope For Everyday Moments and the author of the illustrated children's book, Any Time, Any Place, Any Prayer. Laura, her husband, and her three children live in central Iowa. You can find her on Instagram, @laurawifler or at www.laurawifler.com.